For the past decade, Jane Wiebe has journeyed to Bosnia-Herzegovina for a full month each year. Traveling alone, she visits the homes of people she has gotten to know. She sees poverty, destruction, and need everywhere in the wake of the country’s brutal 1992-95 civil war and ongoing ethnic strife. Wiebe, a married mother of three from California’s Central Valley, raises funds in her community throughout the year, using the money to buy a toilet for one family, a carload of groceries for another.

Given the suffering she sees in a community she has come to care for deeply, Wiebe suffers too. “I cry every night I’m there,” says Wiebe, who serves as president of the Rotary Club of Madera, Calif., USA. “It’s just so painful to see [the effects of] such destruction and death and devastation on an entire people and country.”

So what keeps her going? “It all balances out when you’re able to help a family, and you see that you have changed their world,” she explains. “It’s payback.”

Wiebe is just one of the thousands of Rotarians around the world who respond to the needs of people who experience disaster and deprivation. This work, while satisfying, can also be stressful. It’s even possible to become traumatized by witnessing the trauma of others, says Kit O’Neill, assistant professor of psychology at North Dakota State University.

Know the signs

If you’re planning to travel on a service or relief project, you should be aware of some of the signs of trauma and stress: They include feeling irritable or overwhelmed, isolating yourself, and having trouble focusing on normal life activities.

“It’s not a personal weakness if you have these reactions,” explains O’Neill, who trains Red Cross volunteers to deal with the emotional aspects of their work. “The most important thing is to be aware of how you feel.”

There are ways to nurture traits of emotional resilience, a term psychologists use to describe the ability to weather the ups and downs of life. It doesn’t mean you go through difficult situations without feeling anything; it just means you can work through such situations and emotions so you can still function.

Emotional resilience is partly built into personality, but it can also be cultivated using simple, commonsense tools, such as keeping a positive approach, setting realistic goals, and relying on others for support. “Some people find it easier to tap into their resilience than others, but we do believe it is a set of skills or activities that anyone can develop,” O’Neill says.

Realistic expectations

Among relief workers, a variety of emotional reactions are common; psychologists differentiate between trauma and stress. People can become traumatized when they feel that their own or someone else’s life is threatened, explains O’Neill, or when a situation brings back a trauma from the past. Trauma can have long-lasting effects that make it hard to cope, and it should be treated.

More common among aid workers is nontraumatic, day-to-day stress. Some people are surprised by how much the frustrations of dealing with bureaucracy can affect them. Sometimes, disorganization or corruption prevents volunteers from accomplishing their work, which can lead to chronic stress, says Lisa McKay, of the Headington Institute, a nonprofit organization based in Pasadena, Calif., that provides training on the emotional aspects of humanitarian work.

Relief workers give their time and effort to make a difference, but it’s important to keep in perspective how much of the situation is actually in your control, and to remain flexible. “If people go into this work with clear, predetermined ideas about what they can do and what it will mean, that’s a risk factor,” McKay says.

Although many volunteers are able see the fruits of their labor, the benefits of long-term projects sometimes take longer to become clear, so it’s good to remember that your involvement alone has value to the people you’re trying to help. “Even if it doesn’t seem like you did much in the moment, your willingness to join with others in their struggles has a big impact and a lasting impact,” O’Neill says.

Before you agree to go on a particular mission, it’s also a good idea to take a personal emotional inventory, suggests McKay. “Ask yourself, ‘What are my natural strengths, and which ones can I work to build so I can catalog my strengths?’”

The American Psychological Association offers some tips for building resilience, whether you’re facing extraordinary situations or just the ordinary trials of life. This advice recognizes that people deal with stress better when they have support, maintain a positive attitude, and feel they are accomplishing something. Other tips include avoiding seeing crises as insurmountable problems, accepting that change is part of living, and taking decisive actions. Looking for opportunities for self-discovery and nurturing a positive view of yourself also help.

Going and coming

Before you travel on a service project, it’s a good idea to talk to other Rotarians who’ve been on similar trips. They can prepare you for what you’ll be seeing – and feeling – and can provide emotional support when you get back home. The Headington Institute also offers free online training programs to help humanitarian workers prepare for work in the field.

Re-entry into regular life can also be difficult. “It’s hard to hear people at home complain about waiting in line for coffee at Starbucks when you’ve just been to a place where they don’t even have water,” O’Neill says. Rather than just getting frustrated, relief workers can educate those around them or take action to be less wasteful while at home.

Wiebe still carries with her some advice she received early on in Bosnia. Overwhelmed by the devastation around her, she sought help from an experienced humanitarian aid worker. “He took my face in his hands and said, ‘Quit looking at the whole picture or you’ll go crazy. Look at the one person in front of you and help that person.’” And, she says, that’s what she’s done ever since – and “that one has turned into thousands.”